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John Martin's avatar

You should try a bit more enjambement, David, it might help to make your writing a little less cliché-ridden. Clichés are fatal. And the first thing you should do on beginning to craft a poem is to strike out all the clichés, and then, having done that, replace them with your own original observations, no matter how outlandish the result. Then you are actually beginning to write poetry. Rather than merely play-acting the part. Admittedly I'm in a bad mood. But, as Dana Gioia says, it's better to be honest.

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Tom Merrill's avatar

Disregarding snytactic troubles, I see one life as more than enough, not to say much too much. I see it more as heinously immoral, than as immortal. But if it is immortal, one can only hope the next act is nothing like the first. Youth for the most part is always starry-eyed, not quite cognizant of the minefield it must navigate. I wish you continuing joy, in case you think you have any.

I listened to part of your Gioia podcast. Unfortunately it went by in a blur, due to the speech speed, which prevented me from following it, from making out what either of you was saying. Most all of it got washed out in a torrent of sounds. For the sake of audience comprehension, it would be better to speak in a more deliberate manner. I might've stuck with the performance if the script had come through clearly.

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